The Petri Project

One of my favorite Sunday afternoon activities is plowing through the shelves at used bookstores in search of antique health and advice books. (Yes, it’s a crazy rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle I lead.) I just can’t seem to get enough of the sage wisdom of yore. Sometimes it’s pure quackery, which is fun in and of itself, but other times I’m astonished by the timeless quality of the advice.

My most recent find is a thick green book called The Art of Selfishness, by David Seabury (who apparently also wrote How to Worry Successfully, another tome I’d love to get my hands on). First published in 1937 and reprinted in 1948 (Halcyon House), the book’s central premise, or “Basic Law of Being,” is NEVER COMPROMISE YOURSELF. (Mr. Seabury is not afraid of caps.)

In the chapter titled “Easier Ways of Living,” he writes:

Haziness, headiness, and hooey make half of humanity’s headaches. Theory and “throbbing” without any tangible basis in reality lets millions become tangled up.

Stop every so often to realize where you are going, what you are doing, and who is getting you to act like a sick baboon. The simple act of taking stock is a rare act indeed, but one that is essential to intelligent living.

Let’s pause here a moment to take stock. Is someone or something making you act like a sick baboon? (And what exactly does that look like… or do we want to know?) If so, Mr. Seabury has some thoughts:

Maybe you are a genius, in which case this suggestion is unnecessary. But if you aren’t one of the great minds of the century, it is better not to try to think your problems out in your head, and especially never to think about any problem after ten p.m.

Write down all the facts you know in a rough-and-tumble manner. Just scratch them down. Then put them in some sort of order, the unimportant facts on one side, for example, the significant ones on the other. Having done this, restate your trouble as you imagine five widely different people would describe it, and let your selection include someone you don’t like, or who doesn’t approve of you. Then figure on your problem with all these new attitudes in mind and the facts in black and white.

What do you think of this strategy? I like the way he’s encouraging us to get outside ourselves and consider other views. And I’ve certainly found writing quandaries down helps to get a handle on them. So is anyone willing to experiment with Mr. Seabury’s suggestion? If so, who are the “five widely different people” you’d invite to describe your trouble? Perhaps a few people who’ve had some high-profile troubles of their own? Martha Stewart? Lindsay Lohan? Alec Baldwin? Those monkeys have surely taken a few sick days.

Photo credit: wallyg on Flickr.